His voice came out of the room in a rumbling tone, one that she knew was specifically saved for the more intimate moments of his life. She'd tried to forget that voice. It reminded her of too many things, of too many good things, that she knew she might never have again.
"Come over here."
A groaned bubbled up from her throat as she stretched. "Mmmm, I'm too comfy."
"Come on, Mere. Please."
She sighed and snapped back into her position on the couch. "But I wanna stay laying on this couch. You come over here."
"No. I'm not moving."
"FINE! Me either." She giggled at his insistent voice.
Minutes later Meredith was turning the TV down immensely in volume and listening to the noise that he was making. It wasn't really noise. Noise was just that. This was pure joy, music. The dull, flowing melody coming from the piano in his large living room glided into her ears and made her smile and melt against the leather of the couch.
It was late September and her parents were out of town for the weekend. Meredith was just now considering the music business, much to Justin's encouragement, and her life seemed to be perfect. No parents to worry with no school to worry with, a boyfriend that was making her smile bigger than she ever had before, and better yet the feeling of being in love.
It was new for Meredith, and feeling she had never experienced, and ever since she had laid her eyes on the man they called Justin Timberlake, she had fallen, hard. She was so in love with him that nothing else existed when she was with him. Even when she was away from him, all her thoughts consisted of him. She was obsessed with loving him. And she wouldn't have it any other way.
"Play me sumthin'."
She smiled when she felt his fingers dancing along her arm, searching for her hand. She looked over her should and saw him standing behind the couch, towering over her, smiling softly. He brought her arm straight up in the air and her fingers to his lips. He kissed them gently, causing her to grin at him.
"Will you, please?" His voice whispered up her arm and soon he was leaning over the couch. He grinned seeing her eyes and knowing she had surrendered to him.
"Oh kay." She whispered back.
At that simple response, Justin had cradled her and picked her up, bringing her over the couch and standing her up in front of him. He turned her around and pushed her towards the grand piano in the corner of the room.
Before they got there, he grabbed her waist and sat down before her, plopping her down on his lap. "Justin!" She exclaimed.
"What?" He murmured into her shoulder.
"You expect me to play sitting on your lap?"
"Yeah. Please? It's been 15 minutes since I heard you sing, I need to hear you again. So...go at it."
She chuckled at the babiness of his voice. "Ok, baby."
She took a deep breath, thinking about what she could play and finally her fingers skimmed the white keys and she pressed down and began a beautiful, blusy song.
"You know I love this song." His voice was quiet as she sang and played the piano. He wrapped his arms around her and continued listening.
Meredith kept playing trying to keep herself from feeling his lips take over her neck and his hands wander to the hem of her tee shirt.
They had been together all summer, and while they did their fair share of kissing and other stuff, they hadn't passed a limit. Meredith had set that limit, but as time went on her resolve was shrinking and she didn't know what that would mean just yet. All she knew was that she loved him, more than anything she ever had.
By now her singing wasn't as loud and her notes had slowed, and his hands and searched the skin of her stomach, rubbing her sides slowly, causing goosebumps to tickle her skin.
She stopped her playing, but didn't stop him when his hands covered the fullness of her breasts and began massaging her gently. His breath blew softly against her ear as he spoke. "Does this bother you?"
She just shook her head no and leaned back against him, for the first time, getting a feel of how his body was reacting. Just as the thought of her limit entered her mind when he head tilted back, it flew out of her mind at those simple words he muttered to her. "I love you so much, Meredith."
Her eyes slowly opened and she turned her head to see him staring at her. "I love you too, Justin." She whispered.
With it said, he pulled his hands from her shirt and held on to her as he stood up. She was sandwiched between the piano and his front. She could feel every inch of him against her back and tried not to shutter, when he twisted her around and descended his lips upon hers.
He didn't waste any time, conquering her lips that succumbed to his, and then her hands that splayed across his back in search of balance, and finally her body, which fell into his and pushed herself into him.
Finally with a soothing thrust of his tongue and brief caress of her lips, he pulled away and stepped over the small piano bench. He held out his hand for her and she looked at it, timidly.
"Do you wanna go upstairs?"
Her eyes shot to his at his question and his smiled at her tenderly. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to. You know there is no pressure from me."
After a good minute, and after staring at his hands for what seemed like an eternity, her tiny hand slid into his much larger one. As soon as their fingers locked, he squeezed her hand for reassurance, and pulled her around the bench and towards the steps, that led to his bedroom.
She let him drag her up the steps, her behind me, trying to keep up. It wasn't that he was speed walking, just his legs were a lot longer and she wasn't really trying to get there in record time.
But then before she knew it, he had stopped and she almost came crashing in his back. She braced herself, with her hands on his shoulders and gasped, not intentionally though.
"Merebear. Are you sure that you..."
She interrupted him, and slid in front of his body. "Justin, just...stop asking so many damn questions."
He smiled down at her. She smiled up at him. They both leaned forward and their lips met softly, just once.
And then after that it was pure raw emotion occurring between them. She fell into his arms and let him claim her lips over and over again. His mouth moved with hers, over hers, and finally away from hers, and made their attack on her neck. She moaned something inaudible when he picked her up in his arms and forced her to hang on to his torso as he, lavished her neck with sloppy kisses and carried her to the bed.
Once there, she slid down the length of him and sat down on the bed. Keeping eye contact with him, she slid back further, her legs straight out in front of her.
With a soft smile he tickled her bare feet, hanging off the end of the bed. She giggled and it turned into a squeal when his hands grabbed her ankles and pulled her legs around his and leaned over her. "You know, this will change a lot of things."
"I know. I want this Justin. I love you..." She paused and ran a hand over his cheek and jaw. "...Please, make love to me."
"I'll make love with you, how bout that?" He whispered, his breath on her face.
With that, it was almost a done deal. With a small kiss on the mouth, Justin stood up and peeled off his tight plain white T-shirt and threw it to the floor.
She stared up at him, resting on her elbows and sighed. She had seen him without a shirt on before, but this was like nothing she had ever experienced. Truth was, she had never experienced this.
Her thoughts about what was about to happen to her, to him, to their relationship bombarded her mind. And it wasn't until after he was left in his boxers and after her shirt had been removed did she finally voice her thoughts. "Justin..."
He immediately stopped everything he was doing and stared down at her navel, and stilled his hands that were working on the fly of her jean shorts. His blue eyes slowly scanned up to her face. "You want me to stop?" His voice wasn't as much a question as it was a statement.
"It's just me baby. Don't be scared."
"I can't help it." She swallowed her tears and looked away from him, not wanting him to see the worry in her face.
"Shhh..." He traveled up her body and rested on his side, beside her. He turned her chin back to him and smiled. "To be honest, I'm scared too."
"But you've done-"
"Not with you. Not with the girl that I love more than anything I've ever known. It's almost as new to me as it is to you, Merebear."
His fingers danced upon her cheek. "I'll try not to hurt you. Trust me? Please?"
A loud moan escaped his mouth then the soft words were said into the dead silence of the room as she listened at the door. "It hurts baby. I want to be there with you soo badly."
The sound of his voice brought her into the present again and caused her immediately to feel sick to her stomach.
The stairs were taken by two's as her legs moved her back down to the first floor. She made a beeline for the kitchen passing Lynn and Paul in the television room on her way out to the backyard. They would be coming after her in moments, she knew that much, but for that short time she was going to try her hardest to calm down. What she'd just heard had not only been upsetting, but it had caused a reaction in her that she didn't understand. How could she hate someone so much but still want to be with them even after hearing what she'd just heard?
"Meredith honey," Paul called to her from the doorway. "You ok?"
Meredith turned around from her spot in the enclosed misquitto netted screen-in porch and nodded. "I need to make a call real quickly. I forgot the time change and I know my parents are going to be expecting a call from me."
"You sure?" he asked.
She hated the fact that she couldn't tell him about what was going on. She wanted to run to him and beg him to tell Justin that she was sorry for everything that had happened all those months ago and that she wished now that she'd ignored the scene that she'd walked in. She wished that everything was different, but most of all she wished that her heart wasn't breaking open at the moment.
Numbly she did her duty to reassure him that she was ok by nodding and throwing a smile his way then moved over across the yard to where a lounge chair had been placed and she sat down. The bottom of her feet ached from the jarring that had happened when she'd run down the stairs and somehow that short burst of energy had taken up her reserves.
He swiped away a tear that had fallen from her cheek and she nodded against his hand that soon traveled lower and to her bra strap. He traveled the white satin over her shoulder and to her back. She arched up, timidly and allowed him to remove her of the article of clothing.
As soon as the cool air hit her, she tried to cover herself up. Justin grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Don't, you're beautiful. Please let me look at you."
She obliged by letting her arms go lax by her sides. He went back to the task at hand and tried to remove her of her shorts. She didn't expect him to go that fast, but he did. With a simple tug she was stripped of all her clothing, jean shorts and panties.
He stood above her, admiring her. She lay below him, shaking with nerves.
He finally removed his gaze from her and opened his nightstand drawer and pulled out a little square package from inside.
"Use those a lot?" She whispered.
Normally he would have taken it as a joke and would have joked back. But this wasn't a normal situation. "Actually I've never opened this box before."
With one glance at her naked body, laying on his huge unmade bed and a small rip of the package he was holding, he pulled down his underwear, sighing as the pressure on him lessened. He kicked his boxers aside and carefully put the condom on himself. He looked back up at her.
She was looking away and blushing.
He smiled. She seemed so innocent at times. He realized just how innocent she was. She was giving herself to him. Girls begged him all the time and offered him for this very act, constantly. But she had never begged or offered. Meredith had simply given the one thing that she could and no one else could to him. Or, she was about to give anyway.
Justin supported himself on his arms and leaned over her saying, "You can look at me if you want to Meredith. It's ok."
She closed her eyes and turned her head back to face him. She opened her brown eyes and stared directly into his. "I love you, Justin."
He smiled and rested his knees on the edge of the bed, picking up one of her legs in the process. "I know you do Merebear, I know you do."
He settled his weight on her and kissed her collarbone sweetly before moving his mouth to hover over hers. "Just tell me if it hurts ok? We can stop whenever. I don't want you to-"
"Please, just...do it." She whimpered, tired of all this anxiousness and waiting.
He kissed her forehead and hooked her other leg around his narrow hips. "I just want you to be happy."
"I am happy Justin. I'm here with you aren't I?"
He nodded against her shoulder and turned his head to whisper in her ear. "I love you." And then he slowly pushed himself into her.
She cried softly, and whimpered against him, holding on to his back for support. Tears streamed down her face and with a little bit of a push and a small sigh on his part he broke past her barrier and glided deep within her. He stretched her to no end, and she would have literally thought she was dying if he wasn't saying what he was in her ear. And that made the world of difference.
All the while she was crying and his body was moving on top of hers, he was whispering sweet little encouraging, loving words in her ear that only she could understand.
Finally he lifted his head from her shoulder, a bead of sweat feel from his forehead and hit her cheek, mingling with some of her tears. Her eyes were tightly shut and she was biting her lip.
Justin leaned down and kissed her tears and his sweat sway and then brushed his lips over her eyelids.
They fluttered open and with that one look, he was sent over the edge. He stilled above her for a moment, quietly groaning, and finally with a loud sigh that sounded a lot like her name he collapsed on to her.
After a long time, he finally caught his breath and whispered into her neck. "If only you knew how much I loved you Merebear."
She smiled and wrapped her arms around his back, holding him tightly. "Believe me Just, I know."
"Shit," she mumbled after she saw Paul go back into the house. She could see him explaining the situation to Lynn and they both were watching her so she pulled out her phone and dialed the first number on her list of people to call.
The list had dwindled in the last few months. With her traveling and working so much she'd lost contact with most of the people she used to be close with and now she was finding that when she needed someone to call there was no one there on the other end of the line. There had been when she'd been with Justin, but even he was gone now.
The constant unanswered ringing met her ears and made her stomach hurt. She had been nervous as it was about coming over, but now, after hearing the truth for herself, that he was finally over her and had moved onto being with Britney she felt the wounds of six months ago opening up again.
Her left hand pressed flat against her forehead as her right held the phone to her ear. Her eyes were on the horizon where a full moon was coming up and despite the calm moment that she should have been having in the backyard she was finding herself becoming more and more panicked.
The call was on its tenth ring now and no one was picking up. Normally it wouldn't worry her, but at a moment like that, a moment when she needed someone to talk to and the person wasn't picking up, her head began to fill with thoughts that a normally stable person wouldn't think of.
Clicking off the call she redialed quickly, this time calling her best friend from high school instead of her mother, knowing that Adrianna had a cell phone that was on twenty four hours a day.
Again she was met with ringing then voicemail was clicked into gear. "Please leave a message after the beep."
Meredith took a deep breath, "Hey Addy. It's me, little Meredith...anyway I don't know why I called exactly. I'm stuck with Justin tonight having dinner and well you know how that goes..." Her composure began to crumble and when she spoke again her voice began to crack a little. "Anyway, um, give me a call, um, later. Ok? See ya goober."
When her call was done she instantly dialed JC's number, but again got voicemail so she didn't leave a message.
"Fucking phones," Meredith breathed out and pulled the phone from her ear, clicking it off before she shoved the tiny hand held into her pocket and proceeded to cross her arms across her chest. Taking another deep breath, she stared at the moon for a moment and could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She wasn't going to cry, not here, and definitely not in front of Lynn, Paul and especially Justin. She had too much on her plate already and didn't need to be explaining her sudden crying to them.
Justin looked at the clock and took a deep breath. He could smell his mother's cooking from his perch on his bed and knew that he needed to make an appearance.
"Baby?" he said slowly into the phone, finding himself extremely relaxed after the session he'd just had with Britney.
"Yeah?" she asked lazily from where she was in LA.
"As much as I would love to sit here and listen to you over the phone, I need to go," he explained, "Mamma's got dinner ready and I need to get down there."
"Oh." She sounded disappointed, but he wasn't going to dwell on that. "I'm glad I got to talk to you tonight."
"Me too baby," he said.
"I better put my clothes back on and get back to work," she said.
Justin let out a groan as he started to sit up. He pulled the towel around his waist again and tried to not mess up the bedspread as he went back to the bathroom, "Don't say things like that to me or I'm gonna get all hard again and we don't have time to repeat what we just did."
"Sorry," she said with a giggle, "Why don't I call you tomorrow then and we'll work on this phone long distance relationship thing?"
Justin took a deep breath to clear the grogginess from his head. If he was going to go down to see his mother and Paul he wasn't going to look like he'd just had phone sex. They'd probably figure out that something was different about him, but they didn't need to know that he'd just jacked off over the phone to a girl three thousand miles away. It would be too embarrassing for him. "Sounds good."
"I'll let you go. I love you J," she said.
"I love you too B," he parroted back at her then heard her hang up the phone so he hung up on his side too.
For the moment he wasn't sure if he really loved her or not, but it seemed like the right thing to say so he always said it to her. They'd been together for almost the whole time that he and Meredith had been broken up and if Meredith weren't in the picture he figured that Britney would be the one, but since she was in the picture it was hard for him to fully commit to Britney.
"So much for the shower," he mumbled as he pulled the towel from around his waist and stepped back into the shower. He hadn't jacked off in a while, at least not outside of the confines of the shower so the whole idea of having to clean up after himself hadn't figured into the whole sitting on the bed and having phone sex idea.
The cold shower that he stood in for the next ten minutes got his hormones under control, but his mind still wandered to the events that had just happened. He realized that he'd been picturing Meredith and that was an extremely dangerous thing for him. Not only because he didn't want to go down that road again, but also because it wasn't fair for Britney to have to deal with.
Justin made it down to the kitchen just as his mother was begining to dish up plates of food for everyone.
"It amazes me that you always show up for dinner on time," His mother laughed as he came around to look at what she'd made.
"I'm sorry about earlier," he said with a soft tone and leaned and kissed her.
"You can still have dinner honey, no need to apoligize," his mother said with a laugh.
"No," he said, "I need to do it. It was stupid of me to act that way."
Lynn lifted her hand to her son's forehead. "Are you sick or something?" she asked.
"No," she said brushing her hand away then looked around, "Where is Meredith?"
"She is out back," Lynn said.
Justin could hear the concern in her voice. "What happened?" He went over to the window and saw her sitting in the corner of the porch with her phone to her ear.
"I don't know," his mother said, "She came downstairs and rushed out back and when Paul asked her if she was ok she said yes and that she needed to make a call."
"She came upstairs?" Justin said finding it hard to breathe. He knew instantly what had happened. He hadn't seen her in the doorway but she must have been there.
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