Let That Be Enough:  Eighteen

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The studio had always been JC's second home so when he took his seat at the controls he took a deep breath then looked across at Farzana sitting on the other side of the glass. Normally he would have an engineer with him to work, but using the older mixer he didn't need one. He liked this more intimate working environment. He thought it was good considering Farzana's style.

She was sitting on a stool tuning her guitar and looking at the sheet music and playing a few chords. While he should have been paying attention to the boards, all he could think about was the kiss that they'd shared on the porch. He hadn't thought twice about doing it before his lips met her, but when he'd done it he'd felt completely natural doing it. It wasn't until he'd seen the look on her face that he'd half regretted the action.

"You ready?" she asked from behind the glass, the voice coming over the speakers above his head.

He shook his head that he was then paused for a moment pressing the intercom button between the two rooms. "You're not going to bug me about singing?" he asked.

She looked up from her guitar and smiled. "Nope."

His finger pressed the talk button again automatically, getting back into the rhythmn of things. "Ok." His eyes focused on her fingers that were moving along the strings. Again he pictured them on him. He averted his eyes feelling a little overwhelmed by the imagery. "Start with just a run through with the music and let me hear it on the guitar before we get to your singing."

She nodded and adjusted the headphones on her head before she took her pick from where it had been weaved through the strings and began to play.

His finger immediately went to talk button. "Whoa!" he said instantly recognizing the material she was playing. He stood up and pushed the chair back quickly. "What are you playing?"

She stopped and looked at him with an innocent look on her face. "I'm playing your song."

"My song?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, "The song that you showed me the other morning before you got mad at me. It was in the stack and I liked it the most so I thought I'd try it out first. It's only got a few stanzas so I thought it would be a good one to get out first since it's been a while for both of us."

He stared at her. Why couldn't she have said something about this earlier instead of just starting to sing it? He needed some time to prepare to hear it sung. It was one thing for him to do it, but having her sing it at him was something different.

"It's good JC and I want to record it," she said, "Can you let me play it once at least? If it sucks then we'll do the other one."

"What am I gonna do with you?" he asked with a sigh.

"What?" she asked, "I didn't catch that...you didn't press the intercom button."

He tried not to blush when he realized that he'd been caught. It was stupid for him to be acting like this. He didn't even like her like that. He couldn't like her like that. He needed to stay single no matter how much he wanted to lean on her. "Nothing." His eyebrows raised for a moment as she stared at him. "Go ahead...just this time sing it and play it. I won't record it, but I want you to sing it for me."

"Ok," she said and began to play the notes and sing the lines he'd written for her.

I've seen the people
As they walk down the street
Smiling and looking so free
As I stand on the corner
With a tear in my eye
Wondering how it would be
If I'd never asked for what I could not have
Always living for things out of reach


JC's mind wandered as he listened to his own words being sung back at him. He hadn't thought that he'd put so much emotion into the song, but hearing the words aloud really made an impact. The first stanza itself brought back too many memories. He'd been sitting for weeks on end waiting for Bobbie to come around and had never gotten what he wanted.

Never enough
Forever unsatisfied
Missing a piece of my soul
Never enough
Forever unanswered
Like a prayer that never gets told

Fall away troubles, dreams and desires
And let me escape from myself
If I'd never asked for what I could not have
I could live just like everyone else

Never enough
Forever unsatisfied
Missing a piece of my soul
Never enough
Forever unanswered
Like a prayer that never gets told

Fall away troubles, dreams and desires
And let me escape from myself

"JC!"

He was urgently pushed back into the present and looked up at her through the glass. He must have really been day dreaming because she sounded from her tone that she'd been yelling at him for a while. He hadn't meant to ignore her, but the lyrics had sent his mind into orbit.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Hmmm," he said then looked up, "What?" She'd gotten up from her stool and was now standing next to the glass watching him closely. He pressed the button to talk into the other room. "What? Go sit back down and let's get this over with. We've got a time limit for this ya know."

"Are you ok with this?" She pointed at her guitar and the liner notes, "Do you want me to do the other one?"

He pressed the button again. "Yeah," he said, "It's fine." He took a deep breath and cleared his mind trying to put everything behind him so he could get through the rest of day.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah." He stretched his arms over his head and looked at the board then up at her again, trying to keep his eye clear of tears. "Start from the begining...it was good."

"You sure?"

He nodded and turned back to the boards as she reset the music in front of her. The sound of her guitar soon filled the air and he started to set the mixer to make the guitar sound a little fuller in sound.

The sound of the door opening behind him didn't phase him, but the sound of the person yelling made him just a little. "Wipe-Out!"

He turned in time to see Melinda coming at him with her arms open for a hug. He turned back to the board fearing that he might lose the settings he'd been working with. She didn't seem to care that he was busy. Her arms curled his shoulders and hugged him from behind.

"Hey Melly," he said with a laugh and patted her arm that had curled around his neck. He moved her arms around and pulled her into his lap. With JC being close to six feet, Melinda's smaller sature made her seem like a child sitting in his lap. She might have been older than him, but she was still like a little sister to him. "How is my little Chicken?"

"Cluck cluck," she said humoring him. She rolled her eyes, "Don't call me that anymore...you know I don't like it."

"Hey now," he said holding his hands up in surrender. "You call me Wipe-Out I call you Chicken. You know the deal."

"I guess," she said and turned towards the studio. He turned and watched Farzana still sitting there playing. Her eyes were on the music and the chords and she hadn't noticed anyone in the booth with him. "I see you've got your little woman in the studio working hard."

"Don't be like that Melly," he glanced over to where Farzana was still working on the song. "You make it seem like I'm robbing the cradle or something. Farzana is an adult and it's not like that anyway...I'm not dating her."

"That's not what I heard." Melinda moved off his lap and into the seat next to him.

JC's hand went towards the board and he flipped the sound off so that they could talk in peace. It wasn't the best professionally to not pay attention to his session, but this was more important. If Farzana had to play the song a few extra times it would only help her get more comfortable with the sheet music.

"What'd you hear and who'd you hear it from?" JC said, "If you heard something from Bobbie then you need to check your sourses." He knew that he'd lied to Bobbie about Farzana and that Melinda probably had heard that lie from her, but he wasn't about to admit his immature plan to deal with Bobbie. He should have handled the situation better, but Melinda wasn't the one that should be the one telling him that.

"I talked to Justin this morning and Justin said that Bobbie said that you were dating someone new," she said, "I'm not sure that you're--"

"Uh oh," he said.

"What?" she asked.

"Here comes THE SPEECH," he said.

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Farzana had been concentrating hard on her fingering against the strings of the guitar, but when she looked up and saw Melinda sitting across from JC she dropped her hands from the strings. With the sound turned off she couldn't hear them, and they didn't seem to notice her staring at them. She knew that her stopping would make it quiet in the booth, but if JC had turned down the sound they wouldn't have noticed if she was singing or not.

When Melinda leaned over and took JC's shoulder and he dipped his head she tried to read their lips. It was no use because a moment later her view of JC was disrupted by Melinda hugging him. She didn't have a right to be jealous about the two of them hugging, but the feeling still shot through her.

"Great," she mumbled to herself, "This is so stupid." Her mind reeled. She'd been doing so well keeping things on a professional level with him. She'd had the slip up of having him kiss her but in her mind that was his fault and not hers. She had slept in his bed, but again it had been at his insistance. She could have gone to bed alone just fine. For the most part she'd tried to keep her feelings to herself because she knew that JC was just out of a relationship, practically divorced, and it wasn't the time to have him throwing his emotions around.

Turning away from the glass she looked at the sheet music to distract herself. She wasn't going to break down now. She had to keep things together. She wasn't going to let this little incident ruin the rest of the day. Melinda worked closely with him. They'd been on the phone together a lot in the last few days and they were friends, that was it.

"Farzana," JC said finally, "Some of the guys are in town and are gonna be over in a while to see Melinda and have some pizza or something. You want to hang out with them or do you want to record?"

She stared blankly at him as she caught the sight of Melinda waving at her. "Come on Farzana. There is studio time open tomorrow and JC was saying that you all need more time to work on those songs anyway."

"Yeah," she said with a sigh, "I guess."

"Come on out of there then," JC finally said.

She ignored the feeling that she had wanting to make her pitch a fit and scream at him about needing to work and needing to get her a record deal. "Ok." She sighed, "Give me a minute."

JC nodded, "Melinda and I are gonna go up to the kitchen so just come and find us."

She nodded and watched him disappear. Dipping her head she put her guitar away mumbling to herself trying to keep her cool. "This is nothing. He's not disappearing into the kitchen to kiss Melinda. They are just going to go into the kitchen to...to see if there are enough plates for everyone...yeah that's it."

"He's not even yours to even worry about who he's kissing," she kept mumbling, "Just because he kissed you doesn't mean that he's gonna kiss you again and it doesn't mean that he's gonna kiss someone else." She sighed and threw her hands up, "Why can't you be in love with an unpopular guy who has no other female friends? JC isn't the one for you...Fall in love with someone else...anyone except JC."

"Farzana?"

Her back had been to the window, but when she turned around she saw Melinda standing there. "Please tell me you didn't hear me rambling to myself like an idiot?" She closed her eyes and put a hand over her eyes as the embarrassment of what she'd just said. She couldn't have said a more embarrassing thing at the wrong time and to the wrong place and to the wrong person if he'd tried.

Her voice came out strained as the tension between them seemed to get even worse. "JC is order pizza and wanted to know what kind you wanted."

"Whatever is ok for me," she said.

"You sure?" she asked, "We can order something special for you."

"No," she said, "I'm good. I'll be out there in a while."

Melinda seemed to understand the tension. "I'd hurry up though because once the boys get here the pizza will be gone immediately."

"Thanks," Farzana said moving over to her guitar case. She put everything inside and resnapped the case closed and pulled her guitar up. Her backpack was repacked and she turned back to the booth.

Melinda had disappeared again. She took a breath and took her guitar back towards the kitchen. She figured that she'd put it in JC's car. She knew that she'd forget it if she didn't put it in there at the moment.

"Can I have your keys?" she asked coming into the kitchen where JC was leaning against the counter. He had a smile on his face and Melinda was in the middle of something, but she wanted to put her guitar in the car and at the same time avoid talking to him for a while, just in case Melinda had told him what she'd said.

"What do you need?"

"I just was going to put my stuff in there. With my state of mind I'll probably forget them here if I don't."

"Oh," he said, "Ok."

She took the keys and escaped the room and the tense moment that was hanging between the three of them.

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JC's song lyrics: NEVER ENOUGH --by Shannon Curfman/Kevin Bowe" -- Published by Miscreation Music/Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp./Bashti Music, Trio Music Company Inc., adm. by Leiber & Stoller Music Publishing (BMI)

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