EJ opened her eyes at the sound of the water running across the room and focused on the ceiling above her for a moment before she pulled the sheet up around her and rolled onto her side to face where the noise was coming from. Her hair fell in her face so she pushed it out of the way and squinted at the bright white light across the room. For a moment she'd thought that it might be the sun coming up and coming throught the window, but found that it wasn't.

The bathroom door was open and Lance was standing there with his back to her looking in the mirror in the middle of shaving. She didn't know what about it kept her attention for so long, but just the sight of him doing what he always did in the morning made her feel at home. This morning he wore only dark boxer shorts and had shaving cream on only half his face. He was staring hard at the mirror running the razor along his cheek. She noticed the sleepy look in his eyes, but he seemed to be awake enough to trust himself with a sharp object.

Awake. She turned and groggily looked out the window. It was still fairly dark out, well dark considering that the lights of the strip of Las Vegas were still shining. Pink, blue, and white lights shown up from street level causing this strange glow to light up the sky. It all seemed beautiful until her eyes caught sight of the clock on the bedside table.

"Shit," she said and let her head drop back to the pillow. She let out a small groan.

"Emma?" she heard him say from the other room in a soft voice.

"What?" she asked moving to face him again, rubbing her face against the pillow in the process, too tired to lift her head.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," he said, "I didn't mean to--"

"What time is it?" she asked focusing on his now shaven face, "That clock has gotta be wrong."

He turned his wrist to look at his watch. "It's three."

"AM?" she moaned out covering her face again.

"Yeah," he said.

"Sweetie," he said with a small laugh. "Go back to bed. I have an interview in about an hour. I'll come back by later and get you."

"You have an interview?" she asked looking up again, hair in her face again, "Now?"

He nodded and she put her head back down again.

"Morning radio," he said with a smile at her. She heard him move across the room and took a seat on the mattress next to her, smelling of minty shaving cream and strangely now like coffee. "Go back to bed."

Moving slowly she flipped over on her back and looked up at him. He now held a paper coffee cup in his hand instead of the razor.

"Coffee?" she asked looking down quickly to see that she hadn't gotten dressed before falling to sleep the night before. She pulled the sheet up and noticed how his eyes followed her hands, "You don't drink coffee."

"At three am I drink whatever the hell I can get my hands on so I don't fall asleep in the middle of my interview," he said taking a sip. His freehand found it's way to her thigh, giving her a pat on the leg.

"What time do you have to leave?" she asked sitting up. She pulled the sheet around her.

Lance moved and put the coffee cup on the night stand then moved to sit next to her, moving so that he could hug her to him. "In a little while."

"How can you get up like this and go off to an interview?" she asked. She couldn't understand how anyone could get up at this hour after only having a few ours of sleep and be expected to be a happy person.

A frown formed on his face. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to ditch you, but I have it sched--"

"No," she said, "I don't care about you ditching me or whatever...I mean how physically can you get up and do this day after day." She yawned and pressed her face against his chest, "I mean we only slept for a few hours."

"Actually it's only been about a half hour," he said hugging her tightly.

"A half hour?" she asked, "How can you do this day after day?"

"It pays off in the end," he said, "I'll probably sleep the whole way to LA on the bus and the whole way from LA to San Francisco."

"How can you do that to yourself?" she asked. "That's so unhealthy."

"Well," he said with a sigh, "I plan to retire some day and the more work I do now, the more play I'll get to do later. I mean this doesn't last forever and I--"

"What?" she asked looking at him.

Lance shook his head and let her go and got up. "It's nothing."

"No," she said watching him move around his room nervously. "Tell me."

"It's three in the morning," he said, "You should go back to bed. Believe me. I'd go back to sleep if I could."

"Lance." She let out a sigh and was planning to get up and follow him around the room, but seeing that she didn't have enough clothes on to be getting out of bed yet. "Please tell me what you were going to say."

"It'll freak you out," he said moving towards his suitcase he pulled out a shirt and threw it over his head and pulled it on. Without looking up at her he pulled out a pair of jeans and pulled them on to and as his hands did up the zipper and button on his fly he looked up at her, "I really think you should go back to bed."

"Fine," she said and flopped down again and covered her head with the sheet. She hated the way he would do this. When they were talking about her everything had to be said outright, but with him there was a different procedure as if his privacy was more important than hers.

A moment later the mattress moved again next to her and she uncovered her face to look at him.

He put a hand on her cheek and gave her a serious look. "It's this pipedream thing that I have in my head," he said, "It's like if I say it aloud it'll never happen...ya know?"

"Are you sure?" she asked still not able to understand why he was so closed mouth with her.

"I want a family," he said and let out a breath as if just admitting what he wanted was something hard for him to do. "I want a family of my own and I know that I can't have it until--"

She sat up and pulled him into a hug, "You will. I mean you're still young and you have the time to still find--"

"That's the thing," he said, "I don't have the time. I have a career, two careers, hell three careers now. I don't have time to take a full breath of air most days let alone find something that I'm not sure really exists anymore. I mean I thought--I think I found--" His voice trailed off and he just stared at her as if he wanted to say more but couldn't.

Her hands went to his cheeks and she made him look her in the eyes. "You sure think hard for this time of the morning," she said.

"Its habit," he said moving away from her, "It's the only time of the day I get to think about anything other than work and even now I've got a million and one things running through my mind."

The moment had been lost. As he went to grab up his socks and his shoes he got back into a work mode and the only rememberance of her being in the room was the kiss that he placed on her lips as he was on his way out of the room at the sound of a knock on the door.

The silence she was left in made the room seem even more empty than it was. Seeing that the sun wasn't going to be up for another few hours she cuddled back into the sheets after setting an alarm for nine.




(c) 2002 Pit Pat Productions