Pam is home when we get there and lets us out to the beach after Brandon and Dylan show us their latest art projects. They've made paper mache guitars and have both painted their guitars with their favorite colors.
Most people would expect that being the sons of Tommy Lee would leave the kids scarred or something, but from what I've ever seen of them, they're normal. Or as normal as two little boys could be.
I don't remember when I first became friends with Pam, but when I found out that she had the place in Malibu I knew that we had to be friends. It sounds a bit strange, but she seemed to realize that I was itching to get on the beach and said that as long as I'd take her dog with me on the walks with me that I was welcome to come down there any time.
"Monk is at the vet right now," Pam says speaking half to us and half into the phone that she's holding. "But go on out. He's gonna miss out on a good day."
When we first get onto the beach and are alone again, we make comments about the weather, the sun being perfect in the sky and the fact that the wind isn't blowing THAT hard. I walk out towards the water as Addison pulls her hair up.
We remove and leave most of our clothes upon Pam's property, leaving the two of us to look as if we belong at the beach. After slathering on sun tan lotion we're catching some sun as we walk up the beach a bit, her in a modest bikini and me in just board shorts. I've been holding her hand, but I think she can finally tell that my mind is somewhere else and it has been since we ran into Tammy at the store.
I turn back from looking out at the water and find Addison staring at me.
"What's the deal between you and Tammy?" she asks.
She's bold, something that I wasn't ready for. I find myself scrambling for anything to tell her that doesn't sound damning and I can't seem to find anything. This leaves the truth, something I'm not sure either of us are ready to hear.
"You haven't said much about her, but it seems like there is something that you two have--"
"She broke my heart," I admit hoping that by making her a little bit the villain that I'll get a little pity about it. Its the low way to go about it, but at this point it's the only way I can get through this without looking like an ass at the end of the conversation.
"It was a few months ago. We were down in Mississippi together for Easter weekend and she had to leave town and the last few days are the first time I've seen her since."
Instead of pity, I see worry on her face, something that I really would rather have not put there. "Oh."
"Sweetie," I say moving towards her, pulling her against me. "Addy, you know that I love you right?"
"And that we're married and nothing is going to change that, right?"
She nods, her eyes cloud over. A few moments before she'd looked as if she was enjoying the beach, but now she looks as if all she wants to do is go home and crawl into bed and under the covers until all of this blows over.
"I have to admit, I was totally shocked to see her and I was a bit intrigued by the fact that I've seen her twice in the last few days and I hadn't seen her before that." I lean and kiss her forehead, trying somehow to make her stop the shaking that has started in her arms. I don't know if she's gotten cold all of a sudden or if this is just an emotional response, either way I want it to stop. "It just seems strange that all of a sudden, now that we're married that I keep running into her."
Addison moves back and takes my hand again, pulling me down the beach, more towards the water so that are feet are on cold wet sand instead of the warmer dryer sand near the houses that line the beach. "If she was the one who left, I'm wondering what she's doing back. She must want something."
I laugh a little knowing full well that Tammy wouldn't be that demanding. If she'd wanted me back, she would have come back into my life sooner. "Honey, Tammy isn't as vindictive as you'd expect. She's never been that way. Actually before she'd never done a bad thing to anyone, which was why it was such a shock in the first place when she left and didn't come back.
Addison nods and I take a deep breath and look back out at the water. There are a few surfers today, nothing too crowded, but just enough people to let a person know that the surf is good.
"Are you going to tell her that you're married?"
"No," I say instantly then stumble to correct myself. "I mean yes if we see her again I'll tell her, but I'm not going to search her out to let her know what is going on with us, especially since right now no one knows about us."
"Are we ever going to tell everyone?" she asks.
I take her hand, the one with the wedding ring on it and hold it up. "I guess it is too nice of a ring to keep hidden for two long."
She swats my shoulder and laughs. "Honey, you're so modest."
"I know," I say, "Definitely the most modest person you know."
"Yep." She leans, puckering her lips a bit and as I'm leaning closer to her I find myself staring more at the two photographers up on the road overlooking the beach using cannon sized extended lenses taking pictures of us.
My lips move against hers slowly and softly and I close my eyes praying that I'm wrong and that they aren't following us. I know that it's their job and that I shouldn't be bitching since I am out in public, but the fact that this beach is private and yet we're getting our pictures taken isn't something that I intend to be comfortable with.
"What?" Addison asks.
"Photographers," I mumble trying not to sound too disappointed.
"Where?" she asks turning around.
"No where close," I say moving my hands to cup her face, forcing her to look at me and only me. Neither of us are afraid of them, actually we've both been around them so much that we're used to it, but it still makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when someone is taking pictures this way. If they're up in my face I can at least block them out, but knowing that there isn't anywhere to hide right now is something I don't like.
"Wanna go?" she asks finally.
"Naw," I say, "We can walk around a little more. If we're gonna leave its because we've gotten too much sun, not because of them."
"Ok," she says sounding brave even if there is no need to be brave.
"We should escape to Mississippi," she says, "Your mom and dad said that they wanted us to visit."
I nod, but I don't really answer. We turn with our backs to the photographers. "Wanna go in the water?"
"Yeah," she says, "Just don't splash."
"Of course not," I say with a playful tone. In the back of my mind this is a perfect way to introduce the idea of us being together to the press. I know that they all realized that we're dating, but the fact that we're so close hasn't gotten around. I hope that a few days like this will ease the way to us coming out with the fact that we're married.
Slowly we make our way into the water, holding hands as we slide down so that we're waist deep. When a few waves hit us, Addison turns towards me and holds onto both of my hands. We're getting hit with a few waves from the side, but both of us stand strong in the waves. When I look up again the photographers are still there and look to be bouncing around as if they've gotten some great story. I look around wondering if anyone else important or not so important is on the beach. I wish I could assume that they weren't looking at us, but I know that isn't something that can happen.
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Last updated: 07/04/04.