Honestly For You 15

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As they stumbled into the apartment Meredith smiled at the state that they were both in.  They'd both had too much to drink that night and with all her presents to take home, Mike and Todd had piled them into an SUV to take home.  Now the four of them were moving the bags into the living room.

"Be careful with that stuff," she said, "I have to write thank you's to everyone."

"Not tonight," Justin said drunkenly and pulled her towards him, kissing her.  "We have other things to do tonight."

"Like what?" she asked.

"We have to talk," he said then wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Todd sighed in the doorway and rolled his eyes.  "At least wait to attack each other until after we leave."

"Of course," she said with a smile moving away from Justin to grab the bags and put them so that they wouldn't fall over and break.

"Happy Birthday Mere," Todd said.

"Yeah, Happy Birthday," Mike echoed as they moved towards the door.

"Thank you!"

"Yeah thanks guys!" Justin called and pulled her against him.

When the door was closed and they were alone Meredith could already feel his hands on her.  She didn't understand how all of a sudden he was so into feeling her up, but she wasn't about to question it.  She'd been thinking about it for a few hours now, what she wanted to do with him, to him, and now was her chance.


"Giving head isn't nasty," he said.

"You've never given head so you wouldn't know," she said.  She took the jar and set it on the counter next to her then put the cheese slices onto the bread she'd already put out to use.

Justin grabbed a pickle out of the jar and leaned against the counter next to her.  "All I know is that I'd do anything you wanted me to if you did that to me."

She stopped what she was doing and turned back to look at him.  "What?"

Justin licked his fingers then grabbed another pickle slice.  "That's the freaking best thing in the world."

"Are you kidding me?" she asked.

"No," he said.

"I'm not big on that kind of stuff.  Why didn't you tell me that--"

"I know you're not big on it," he said, "That's why I don't ask you to do it.  I figure the person giving and getting should be having the same amount of fun so it'd be dumb to force you to do it."  He smiled, "But if you want to make up for lost time I'm always one who is willing to try new things."

"Keep your boxers on," she said with a smile and leaned and kissed him.  "I never said I'd change my mind about my opinion, but at least I know a little about how to make you be under my spell.   Just open up my mouth and--"

"Don't," he said, "Don't even start to tease me like that."

She leaned back and started to make the sandwiches again.  "Is that really something you like though?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, "I mean not that it's something that happens every day, but I remember it being a very enjoyable experience."

Meredith kept her eyes on the sandwiches that she'd made while he stood there.  "Why didn't you tell me that you liked that?"

"No reason," he said, "I just knew that you didn't like it."

"Still you should have told me."

"Do you want more pickles?" he asked.

Meredith grabbed another one and watched him.  "I love the way you can change the subject so easily."

"What do you want me to say Meredith?" he asked, "I wasn't keeping it from you.  I knew your opinion on the subject and I wasn't going to bring up something to pressure you to do something I know you don't want to do.  I'm not like that."

Her eyes had a hard time not rolling, but she kept them straight.  Justin might not know about pressuring her when it came to sex, but there were other ways that he pressured her without even saying anything or doing anything.  "Oh."


"Justin?" she asked.

"Yes?" he said as he moved her shirt up from her belly.

"Can we go upstairs?" she asked.

He paused and turned her in his arms.  "Yeah."  His eyes stayed wide for a moment.  "Are you ok?" he asked.

"Of course," she said, "I just don't want to make love on the ground again.  I've had enough of the floor for one night."

A blush covered his cheeks.  "I'm sorry about that earlier.  I didn't mean to hurt you when we were on the--"

"You didn't hurt me Bee Dee," she said, "But since we have a bed we might as well use it."

"That's a perfectly reasonable request."

"Can I also ask for something else?" she asked.

He smiled and kissed her.  "It's your birthday honey."

"Ok," she said and pulled away from him, holding onto his hand as they went towards the stairs.



"You're not going to ask?"

"I'll ask when the time is right," she said.



Justin followed her to the second floor to their bedroom and watched as she moved across the dark room to turn on the lamp next to the bed instead of the overhead light.  He watched her walk across to the far side of the bed where his small stereo was and she flipped the switch.

A loud blast of Ludacris came from the speakers, then she hit a button and a softer song came on.  His Brian McKnight CD began to play.

"Well that ruined the mood," he breathed out.

"No it didn't," she said and came back over to him.  She put her hands on his hips and began to move him towards the bed.  She made him sit down and she moved her hands to his shirt and pulled it over his head.

"Bear?"  Justin looked up at her wondering what had gotten into her.  There was something in her eyes he didn't like and after his conversation with Meredith and the events earlier in the evening, his thoughts about her doing things because he wanted her to and not because SHE wanted to came to light.

"I told you I wanted to ask you for something."

"Yeah."  He leaned back a little and curled his legs around her calves where she was standing in front of him.  "So what was it?"

"Let me do something and don't protest," she said.

"It depends--"

Her hand went to start to remove her shirt and he moved his hips a little.  She wasn't making it easy to keep his head on straight.  He was half drunk and trying to be a gentleman, but this wasn't helping.  "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course Bear," he said, "But lately we've been doing things that I'm not sure would be considered normal so I'm not sure that I want to say yes to something that might be a little more extreme than you and me in the grass."

"No," she said, "No.  I'm not going to do anything extreme."  She smiled a wide smile and he wondered how many drinks she'd really had that night.  "You'll like it.  I'm sure that you'll like it."

"Ok," he said, "What is it?"

"I just want to do something, but I want you to just lay back and not move...ok?"


He started to move and she stopped him.

"No," she said, "Naked."

He wasn't sure if he liked this cryptic version of his girlfriend, but if she was in a good mood and wanting to be in bed with him, there wasn't a part of him that was going to stop her.  His eyes met hers and he could see how nervous she was.  He hadn't had a clue until that moment what she was talking about, but realized in the next moment what she was asking for.  Her eyes broke contact with his and they moved to look at his crotch.  He was already very erect knowing that they would be having sex again that night, but the way that she was starting to bite on her bottom lip made him sit up.  "You aren't going to--"  He looked down then looked up again.

"I thought you liked that," she said, "So I thought--"

"Mere I'm not asking you to do this," he said.

"I know," she said, "I just thought it'd be something new to do."

"Are you sure?" he asked.  If he ever let that story out, about refusing a blowjob he'd get laughed off the planet, but he truly felt, even in his drunken state, that he wouldn't want her to do anything that she didn't want to do.

"I'm sure."

His hands moved to the tie at the waist of his swim trunks and he undid the knot.  He started to lower his shorts, but found her staring at him.  "I can't do this if you're going to stare like that."

"Justin," she sighed.  "I've done everything else with your-your-"  She sighed.  "With you."

He started to move his hands again then stopped.  "Well sit down or something.  You're freaking me out."

She moved to the side of him and sat down.  She moved to start to take off her clothes as Brian McKnight began to sing Everything from his Superhero CD.

Justin took deep breaths as he removed his shorts.  He scooted back onto the bed and grabbed the pillows up to put behind his back.  He wasn't sure how this was going to work, but he figured that she wouldn't be using her pillow that night, or at least until later.  When he was comfortable he found her naked sitting next to him watching him with nervous eyes.

She looked scared, that scared look she'd had in her eyes the first time they'd made love.  He hated to think that she was nervous about this.  He had never wanted nervous tension to be a part of their sex lives.  He wanted her to feel comfortable with everything they'd done or would do in the future.

Just when he thought she was going to run out of the room, she went and turned off the light.  His eyes closed for a moment and he took a deep breath as he felt the bed move and felt her position herself between his legs.

"Bear?" he said into the darkness, his eyes now open, but not yet used to the darkness in the room.

"Yeah,"  she said.

"Come here."  He felt her move so she was on her hands and knees, face close to his.  He moved his hands out and cupped her face and leaned to kiss her.  "Do you know what you're even doing?"  Her silence made him nervous.  "I just don't want you to think that you can't ask for help."

Silence again met his ears.


"Thank you Bee Dee," she said.

Her lips met his in a kiss and he felt her pull away from him.  She moved her hands to his stomach and thighs and a hand pushed him back to lean against the pillows as he felt a kiss first being placed on his chest then he felt her lips glide lower and lower finally ended up on his thigh.

The next few moments were pure heaven.  Her movements were tentative at first, but when she got comfortable enough with things he felt her relax.  He wasn't sure if she was enjoying what she was doing, but if she wasn't liking it she wasn't showing it.  Her mouth moved over him like she knew what she was doing and only his hand on her shoulder was his control over everything.

When he'd first put his hand there she'd stopped what she was doing, but then when he massaged her neck muscle and groaned in pleasure as she kissed him she only paused to take another breath then continued the sweet torture that she was giving him.  He closed his eyes and let her control the situation and found it to be something that would definitely spice up their love lives.


A warm feeling overtook her whole body as she curled up to him.  Justin was lying half under her and she could hear his heart beat as she pressed her cheek to his chest to rest.

"Bear?" he said with a tired sigh.


"Thank you," he said, "I know that wasn't the thing that you wanted to do, but believe me.  I think I owe you flowers and a new car for that one."

"You're welcome," she said and kissed his bare chest.



"Where'd that washcloth go?"

"Did you miss a spot?" she asked knowing that he'd not let her keep her mouth on him when he began to climax.  It was a strange situation to lay next to him and use her hands on him to finish the job that her lips had started.  She didn't know if that was what he was used to, but when he asked her for a washcloth to wipe off the evidence of their loving she'd nodded and went to the bathroom.  When she'd returned he'd told her that most girl's didn't like having him cum in their mouths and said that it was definitely something that she'd have to get used to and that things were going so well with them that night that he didn't want to ruin the rest of it over something so stupid like that.

"No," he said, "I just didn't want it in bed with us."

"I threw it on the floor," she said, "It landed near the CD rack so don't go over there."

"Ok," he said with a laugh and slid his arms around her.  "You ok?"

She nodded.

"Lemme rest a little and I'll exchange the favor," he said with a happy tone.

"Ok," she said, "Whatever."

Her arms slid around him and held him as she listened to him breathing.  He even sounded musical in doing that.  She counted that he breathed in on every second beat and breathed out on every fourth beat.

"Bee Dee?" she said.

"Wha?" he said lazily and moved to kiss her forehead.  He shivered a little and pulled a blanket over them and tucked it under her chin before, "Better?"

"Yeah," she said.  She waited a minute.  "Can I tell you something and have you not get mad?"


She listened to him breathing.  "You know how I've been in a bad mood lately?"

"Yeah," he said lazily.

"Well it's because I didn't like being on tour.  I mean I did like it, but I'm not sure that it's what I want to do for the rest of my life, ya know?"  She kissed his chest.  "I know that you love the stage and love singing, but I'm starting to think that I'm not sure if I want to do it any more.  I think that maybe after this tour I might give it up.  I know that I've been spoiled about things this far--"  She heard him half cough.  "I don't think I want to sing anymore."

His breathing returned to a normal rhythm, but this time his breath went in on every fourth beat and out on every eighth beat.

"Justin?" she whispered.

When she didn't hear anything else she lifted her head up and looked down at his face.  His eyes were closed, mouth slack, and his chin hanging down a little.

He'd fallen asleep.

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Last updated: 07/10/04.