Sliding under the starchy hotel covers that night was something that Farzana was considering a miracle at this late or early an hour, whichever one tended to regard three in the morning. While she should have been fast asleep hours ago she was finding that life on the road was a lot more hectic and time consuming than she’d remembered it to be. When Damon and she had finished getting dinner, Damon said that there was a club that she should check out that had opened the month before so when she should have been shutting down for the night, they were just leaving the house to party. She found so many people that she'd known there that she'd found herself being the one having to be pulled out of the place at the end of the night.
With a sigh she plumped her pillows so she could sit up a little then reached for the phone and dialed Los Angeles. It was bittersweet to call Los Angeles that night. When she’d been on the road with the guys she would have called home, but now it seemed that the Norton house was home and Toronto was someplace that she’d just once lived. She'd been pushing thoughts of home and him away all day, but now that she was alone and in the silence of the hotel room she'd have for the week she found that she couldn't help but to become obsessive about the idea of talking to him before she went to sleep.
There was the rattling sound of the phone being picked up then a bumping noise, and a soft swear before the deep voice answered. “Hemmwo?”
“Josh?” she said in a whisper, her eyes flying to the clock across the way. She instantly felt guilty for waking him up.
“Zana?” He paused and she heard noise in the background and then a click and she knew she’s called too late. He was in bed and if she closed her eyes she could picture him there now leaning over to check the clock. “Zana baby what’s wrong? What happened?” He sounded panicked. “What time is it?”
“Josh nothing is wrong.” She kept her voice to a whisper in case they decided to hang up so that he could go back to sleep and she could finally get to sleep. “I woke you up didn’t I?”
His breathing was heavy for a moment and she pictured him rubbing his hands across his eyes trying to wake up. He sighed heavily then cleared his throat. “It’s ok. I know how it goes.” He coughed.
She didn’t know what it was, if it was her being away from him or her being in motherly mode because of the girls being around her but she instantly was worried about him and almost made it a big enough to deal in her mind to want to come home. “Honey are you ok?”
“I’m fine Zana. Hold on.” It sounded as if he’d picked up a glass to drink something then she could hear him wipe his hand across his mouth. “I was in the studio today with Alex and Rip and sang too much then the guys and I went out to get drinks to celebrate. How are you doing?”
“Are you sure you’re ok?” she asked again.
“Yes. Zana I’m fine. I swear it,” he said. There was a long pause. "Baby what's wrong?"
“I’m sorry,” she said and instantly began to get tears in her eyes. “I don’t mean to be-I just am so tired-“ She let out a huge sigh and tried to catch her breath. “I missed you and I tried not to think about you and being out here, but it just didn't work the way I wanted it to.”
“Awe,” he sighed, “Zana baby don’t cry ok?”
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, “I just didn’t realize it was going to be this hard. I remember it being tough, I mean it was only five months ago that I was doing this, but now its-I’m getting so girly on you.”
“Zana,” he said, “It’s ok. You’re gonna fly back home next week. It’s only like six days away.”
“They're extending my stay so now instead of like five days, it's going to be about two weeks of getting up at the crack of dawn and dragging my butt around to all these shows--"
"What?" he asked, "I thought you were just recording."
"I was but I got a call from Jive this morning. I got mobbed at the hotel and since there was such a reaction to me being here there is going to be interviews--" She sighed. "I don't know if I can do this."
“You should be flattered honey. Everyone missed you.”
“I know and I am to an extent, but I swear when I’m homesick and trying not to think about you and then people keep asking me about you I can’t-“ She paused for a moment. "I know I'm going to sit there and cry my eyes out like a baby if someone asks me about you."
“Zana-“ He almost groaned her name out as if her words had physically hit him in the stomach. “I didn’t even think about that.”
She tugged the blanket higher and moved onto her side. “Rodney’s been great. He’s the only one out here who understands what’s going on with me.”
“Did you talk to him about your dad?”
“He knows." She sighed. "He’s always known.”
“Well at least he’s out there to keep track of you." She could hear him scratching his chin. "That definitely makes me feel better.”
“Is it dumb of me to be this girly?” she asked, “I mean I’ve been without you for up to two weeks at a time, but it seems harder for me to be somewhere and not be with you rather than being home and not being with you.”
He let her cry for a little while as if he knew that was just what she needed, to release the tension of the day. Finally he spoke to her, “Sweetie, calm down or you’re gonna make yourself sick. You should get to sleep. I know you’ll feel better in the morning.”
“I should.” She pulled in a few shaky breaths. “I just wanted to say goodnight to you.”
“Sweetie, calm down for me ok?” he said, “You’ll be just fine.”
“I love you,” he said sleepily.
"I love you too," she said sniffing.
Silence filled the line until JC let out a sigh. “Now I feel bad.”
She rolled onto her side and took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to call you up and mess up your night.”
“You didn’t mess up my night,” he said, “I just hate that you’re homesick.”
She pulled a pillow from behind her and hugged it to her chest, turned on her side and closed her eyes. “Sing to me.”
“Sing to you?”
“Yeah,” she said, “Sing to me.”
“You want to hear what I was working on earlier?”
“Yeah,” she said.
She heard him move around a little then heard papers moving some. “It’s something new that Tony and I were working on and Alex and Rip decided needed to get recorded since we got Brian's song done."
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
His voice faded out and he cleared his throat. “That was the second verse and the hook.”
Tears spilled from her eyes and she moved her hand to wipe them away. ”I love it,” she sighed.
He clicked his tongue in his mouth nervously. “I made you cry even more.”
“Yeah, but this is happy crying.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” she sighed. “I’m gonna go to bed now Jace.”
“Sleep tight and if you need me call me. I’ll be in the studio tomorrow so I’ll check my voice mail every so often.”
“Love you,” she said.
“I love you too.”
Setting the phone down he looked around the dark living room and sighed. He didn't like this room. He'd figured that out earlier after the guys had left for the night and had spent so much time thinking about how he'd change the room around that he'd fallen asleep in his chair again. He would have been woken up by Farzana to go up to bed, but with her off in Toronto he'd stayed there until the phone had rang.
When he looked at the clock he found that it was just before two in the morning. He stretched out and let out a groan as he found that his hip had cramped in his sleep. The sound echoed. The house was too quiet without her. He'd had the guys stick around to barbecue then had turned on ESPN for background noise, but now that nothing good was on television he couldn't figure out what to do with himself.
Pushing himself out of the chair he'd fallen asleep in, he found his way to the kitchen, kicked back two aspirin and grabbed a bottle of water before he headed down to the studio. He should have been going up to bed, but he found himself restless. He hadn't realized that the house would be so lonely without her. He'd been there without her before, spent full eighteen hour days around the house with her not there, but this was different. There was something more depressing about her not being there.
The studio was even worse to be in since Farzana wasn't there. He sat down at the boards for a moment then moved to the couch. He grabbed the remote to the stereo and turned on a CD before he lay down on the coushins and closed his eyes. He couldn't be there anymore without thinking about her, not only because of the way he'd made love to her the week before on the couch, but also because it seemed that both of them felt like that room was their home even if the whole house was where they lived.
As soon as he set her back down onto the couch she threw some of the pillows onto the floor and moved so that he could lie between her legs. He found himself biting down on his lip as he eased over her, moving a hand between them to make sure that he could get a comfortable position to lie in.
Her arms went around him as he lowered his full weight onto her body. “Josh?”
“What?” he said breathlessly feeling already that he might get too into this too quickly.
“I missed you,” she sighed.
“I missed you too-“ His hips rocked against her pajama bottoms and his mouth found hers.
“What?” he asked now starting to get frustrated with the fact that she kept interrupting him.
“I’m hot,” she said, “Move and let me take off this shirt.”
“Hmm,” he moved away from her and began to tug on her pajama bottoms as she removed the shirt leaving her only in the tiny scrap of blue underwear.
“Are you just going to sit there?” she asked seeming suddenly nervous.
He loved that about her. They had been sleeping together almost six months now and it seemed as if it was still their first time. Most people would have gotten annoyed by the fact that she still was nervous with a man that she’d been with for that long, but for him it only reminded him that all of this was important and that his partner needed a little more time and consideration, unlike some of his past lovers.
This time when he lay down with her he couldn’t help but moving against her. His hips rocked against her and he could feel her hands pulling him closer and that slight hesitation in her breathing as if she was trying to savor every moment. They were both half naked and the clothes that they did have on only seemed to increase the frustration after just a short time.
“Zana?” he said in between kisses.
“Wha?” It was her turn to be breathless.
His left hand pushed himself up off her a bit and his right moved in between them, to the apex of her legs. When his palm paused for a moment on her stomach he could hear the intake of her breath.
Swiftly his fingers found their way to touch her. Heat consumed his body as his fingers explored her. He could feel a blush wash over him from head to foot, making it nearly impossible to think of anything other than the way she was moaning as he moved against her.
When her hand came to rest on his shoulder and her fingernails started to dig into his skin a little, JC slowed his exploration of her body and took a deep breath. Her eyes had fallen shut earlier, but now she looked up at him with a soft smile playing on her lips. "I'm never letting you go on another business trip again."
"Why's that?" he asked.
Her voice came out with a shallow breathy sound. "Cuz I miss this every day."
"Then maybe I should travel every other day," he said, "Then we could do THIS--" He increased the pressure of his hand on her. "--everyday."
She grabbed his other shoulder and put pressure on his skin there as well as the first side she'd grabbed a hold of. "Josh--" Her voice came out in a pleading tone.
She whimpered a little under his touch and began "Don't tease."
"I'm not," he said.
"Yes you are."
"Am. Not." He smiled thinking of their earlier "are-too-are-not" discussion.
Her hands moved from his shoulders and she reached down in between them, moving his boxers down over his hips to rest on his thighs. "Two can play at this game." Her hands engulfed him and he paused for a long moment, sighing out a groan of frustration.
"That's it," he finally pulled together his thoughts and actions knowing full well that this arrangement wasn’t going to be lasting much longer if they kept this up. He moved her panties out of the way and reached to pull his boxers off before he settled back in the same position with her, hovering over her for a long moment before he had enough courage to enter her.
His movements were slow and deliberate as he moved above her. His whole body was aching at this point to drive into her hard to match the level of his need, but he knew from experience that it wasn’t the right approach with her. Their love-making wasn’t normally extremely rough. When things did get a little out of hand it was usually due to them having alcohol in their systems and their clumsiness was usually the culprit of their behavior.
“Josh,” she breathed out. “I love you.”
His eyes widened for a moment and he smiled down at her. “I love you too Zana.”
“Please,” she pleaded and pulled at his shoulders them moved her hands to his waist then curled them around to pull his body against her.
He stayed there for a moment savoring the feeling of her. It was completely cliché to say that he finally felt like he was home when he was inside her, but nothing else seemed to describe the way he felt when he was there with her. It wasn’t just the sex either, it was the idea that she would hug him or kiss him no matter what happened in his day and he hoped that she’d feel the same way back to her.
Finally when she started to pull at him a little more, he began to move. His mind wandered only a moment wondering how people who weren’t in shape did this sort of thing. He figured himself to be a fairly coordinated guy and was probably in the best shape he’d been in his life, but the moving and rhythm and the not smothering the other person took a little bit of work to coordinate and with her moving underneath him in reaction to his advances on her it was really a marvel that either of them were having fun sometimes considering how much physical work it took to make this happen.
Every nerve ending in his body tensed as he reached his climax. Her body had begun to close in around him and at one point it almost hurt the way she was holding onto him. Her arms and legs had him in a death grip as she neared her orgasm and he could see by the way that she started to hold her breath that she was going to reach her climax if he just kept moving a little longer.
He’d been watching her for most of this, but as he peaked he closed his eyes and let his body take over. His legs and back began to shake and spasm and just when he thought he was going to get a Charlie horse from where his leg was pushing against the cushions of the couch, he felt her reach orgasm and slowly began to relax as her body clenched against his.
Nature took over and he found himself soon completely drained, lying on top of her listening to the sound of her breath in her chest. She’d moved away from him a little so that he could lay his head on her chest and as her fingers began to run through his hair his whole body turned to jell-o and he started to drift off to sleep.
He let out a sigh and looked around the room. He needed out of California and fast. He didn't know if he should follow her to Toronto, but being in LA was going to kill him. He just prayed that having her out of Los Angeles wasn't going to kill her too.
The song JC sings in the studio and to Farzana over the phone: John Mayer's Love Song For No One